On trying to make sense of life

When I was in my twenties I felt that I could take on the whole world and still had energy remaining when I was through. I set goals and enjoyed working toward and achieving the goals. This was the time of my life when a goal achieved brought joy and reasons for celebrations. As I grow older the goals that i set for myself became more challenging and when a goal was finally accomplished it brought no joy or even a sense of relief because by the time that the goal was accomplished I was exhausted from being drained mentally, physically and emotionally.

This did not remove the challenge of taking on the setting of the next goal because being active opened up endless possibilities. As my life progresses the goals that I set now are more that of setting objectives and/or pursuing dreams because the challenges involves in achieving goals while pursuing my dreams requires my dealing with circumstances and situations which are outside of my control. These  also involves my dealing with seemingly insurmountable mountains that stand in my way and I need must find the way over, around or through these mountains.

One of the great advantages that I had in life was growing up with parents who were always active and planning the next big move. I was taught their outlook and principles of life before I understood what was happening to me. Now I realize that I cannot unlearn what I was taught by my parents (I have no desire to unlearn these principles and practices). This is why I look on life and pursue the things which require patience and accept that things will not happen or change overnight. In life just like in other fields time must be allowed for growth and bearing fruit.

An alternative to what I was taught by my parents is what is now and has been for some time portrayed on a television screen. It is a known thing that whatever the mind is constantly fed will also influence the actions, thoughts and behavior. It is only the best that is presented on the television screen and there are too many persons that do not realize this or are blissfully unaware. Television scenes are shot many times and edited until the perfect scene or episode is had while in life we have to make snap decisions and we get only one chance. Television encourages aspiration after wealth, fame and beauty as the ultimate in life. Unfortunately those of us who watch television don't have money and will have to settle for the not so good looking person who show an interest in us. 

The great disappointment about television characters and heroes is that at some point in life we come to realize that in spite of the looks, fame and money, the television personalities are most times worse off than us. The question then arise as to what to do when the very people we were taught to look up to and aspire to be like are in reality worse off than we are.

I am often encouraged to watch a movie and the virtue of the stars are highlighted. Now I ask who should get the credit, the actor or the director? I often heat television characters quoted but now I ask if  the quote should not really be attributed to the script writer? How do we deal with the bravery and daring of television star when we learn that the feat were performed by stuntmen and we were tricked into believing that it was the television star?

Life is designed of such that at some point in our life we will ask ourselves these questions among others, where did I originate? What is my destiny? Am I fulfilling my destiny? What does the future hold for me? What will happen when I die?

Life is very comforting in that all of us know that eventually we shall die but we do not know how, when or where it will happen. There is a program on television that uses the words "There are so many ways to die that it is a wonder that we are alive." This sums up life beautifully.

Religion is supposed to answer the question as to what happens after we die and give a purpose as to why we are alive but in recent times I have been left with my doubts because the Christian religion has two extremes. On the one hand there are the Evangelical millionaires pastors who has so much money that they cannot spend it all but they will not help their followers so they pursue vanity and pleasure. At the other extreme are the Roman Catholic priests who have taken a vow of poverty and have devoted their lives to serve humanity. In between these two extremes of religious leaders falls the others priests and pastors.

I have been inside a Roman Catholic Church only once and that was attending a funeral and I now accept that I should not be critical in my ignorance. One of the problems that Protestants had with the Roman Catholic Church was that the Protestants believed that God should be worshiped according to the dictates of the heart. I cannot find anything to support this in the Bible but maybe it is because I have not spent enough time looking. This cuts against the rituals and customs practiced by the Roman Catholic Church. This becomes somewhat tricky because the New Testament does not gives specifics as to how worship should be carried out in the church.  

When I lived in Jamaica I often heard evangelicals saying that the Roman Catholic Church was wrong so I accepted it and went along. (I also use to hear in the evangelical church that women should not wear pants and lipsticks and I believed until I met, hugged and kissed  a young woman that wore lipstick and pants). The pastors that I had for a time convinced me that they were called of God to be ministers of the gospel and many of them were good guys. I later in life encountered a group of ministers of the gospel who after dealing with I am still to regain respect for ministers of the gospel. In fact I can tolerate the wicked and the ungodly because I sometimes think that they fall a little above that particular set of ministers of the gospel minus two or three.

I am now living in the US and for me there is a problem that sooner or later I must resolve. Here is my problem, the Roman Catholic Church has more than a thousand years of traditions and teaching to back up their belief system. I attend a Baptist church and Baptists believe that the church is autonomous and this essentially leaves me to worship God as the pastor feel that it should go. My problem is this should I really discover more about what I was told is wrong but is backed by centuries of teaching and tradition or should I continue following the Baptist which is essentially following the dictates of the pastor's heart?

Historically the church including the Roman Catholics have produced some brilliant scholars and examples, perhaps religion could do with some of these individuals to give validity to religion once again.